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Showing posts from August, 2018

Finding Meaning in Trauma

We all have a way of looking at life and assessing what it has value to us. Whether we are aware of it or not, our value system is based on very specific conclusions we’ve drawn from experiences we’ve had, and those conclusions are operating unconsciously in our mind, and determine what value we look for, and what things we avoid. There is the Christmas effect, where when we are young it is easy to get excited for Christmas, and then slowly over time, Christmas brings a bigger to-do list that stresses us out, than things that excite us. We likely started off life with an optimistic value system, and then as we notice how those expectations fail us, we replace them with a more pessimistic assessment or value system. Our original value system was naïvely optimistic, but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be a wise optimistic value system. We could have upgraded our original naively optimistic value system, but we assess any new value system by our old one, and what reason would we h…

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

The hallmark of OCD is an action that promises release from a strain. This can manifest in a broad range of “compulsions” that offer a “release”—ranging from the compulsion to steal, to the compulsion to give, but usually involves something to clean or organize. A mental disorder is only a disorder when it affects your ability to function to a clinically significant level, which applies to very few people, but… since it affects the quality of life for pretty much all of us, it is important to understand the root of it. The question of how well we see, could be answered by a measurement like 20/20. This means that what you see at 20 feet is the same as the average person… in determining what letter is on a paper. Anything more complicated than what is on the eye chart, E, F, P, T,O,Z etc, is definitely not going to be the same as the average person, and not like anyone else in the world. This is because we see mostly just what we know to look for, and what we know to look for is deter…

8 Second Hug

Yes, eight seconds is a long time, and no, I am not recommending giving everyone an eight second hug. The shell we put up, or mask we hide behind is made up of what we think logically think will keep us emotionally safe. Intuition is not fooled by shells or masks, intuition which is non-verbal communication bypasses whatever façade we put up. Intuition sees the world of meaning, not the physical world of logic, because of this intuition can by-pass externals. Though heart-to-heart connection is what we want, because intuition works so fast and so well, even a glimpse into someone’s heart can show a lot. This makes us feel vulnerable, because we can’t hide out hopes and fears from being seen from other people’s intuition. We may not remember the last time we felt an overwhelming feeling of belonging, but likely it was when we were the most vulnerable; like being held as a newly born infant, not aware that we were naked, and nothing we could do about it even if we did know, being held …